Colorado and the Idea of Thriving
I never expected to be absent for a year and a half, but life has a way of throwing the unexpected in your face every now and then. Not everyone knows the backstory, but I came to Colorado on a whim, followed a boy because I believed in adventure. Let me fill you in on a little secret: I knew it was crazy. I had the idea well before I had a job, a place to live, or any means to get there. But those kind of decisions lead you to some really great people and places, even if things don’t turn out the way you might have thought they would in the beginning. I can’t say if it was the right choice, but it is a choice I could never regret.
I have been able to live 15 minutes away from one of my best friends, welcome a furry, four-legged addition to my heart, work with and develop strong bonds with amazing women, see family and friends I had sorely missed, and actually own real, adult furniture. (That last one still kind of throws me for a loop.)
And through each and every step of the experience, my aversion to a “normal” life is reaffirmed. I am a nomad who has been in the same place for over a year. I am a city-girl living in suburbia. I am an adult exhausted from society’s expectations. Nothing like putting yourself at the very opposite end of the spectrum to know exactly what you don’t want.
This summer, the first I’ve had off in five years, woke me up. And I realized at the tail end of it, that I had written for days on end. I woke up and breathed words, drank words, wrote words, spilled words, typed words, and then dreamt them all over again. That is what I need to do. That is what I am meant to do. And perhaps, that is why I must stay here for another year, to get those words out.
My fourth year of teaching (fifth if you want to get technical), is well underway, but I am not thriving. And there comes a point when you need to refuse to do anything but thrive. There comes a point when you must shake your world so vigorously that everything but what’s important falls away.